About
Certified Master Life Coach · BA Education
The most important relationship you have is the one you have with yourself. Somewhere along the way, you started putting yourself last. Although it sounds counterintuitive, every relationship in your life gets better when you put yourself first. That's our work.
I know this work from the inside. I people-pleased my way through relationships for years, and I was good at it. The cost was that I had no idea who I was outside of what other people needed me to be. Getting honest about that wasn't comfortable. I had to see what was driving it, and I had to see the payoff: staying safe, staying small, not rocking the boat. I had to stop outsourcing my worth to someone else. None of that was easy, but owning it was what changed me.
I'm also a man, which means I have no agenda about your relationship. I'm not going to unconsciously root for you to leave, or stay, or feel validated. I just want you to get honest with yourself. That's harder to find than it sounds.
I do this work specifically with women because I grew up watching my mother live with a difficult man for 54 years. She spent most of those years giving up pieces of herself to keep the marriage going, and I watched what that cost her.
When I first started coaching, I thought I could help men like my father. I worked at it for a while, but what I learned is that men like that rarely want to change. So I turned to the women living with them, doing all the actual work, carrying the relationship and sacrificing themselves. They're the ones I can help.
I'm also not here to help you figure out what's wrong with him. That's a dead end. I'm here to help you figure out what you actually want, why you've been settling for less, and what it would take to create the life you want.
My approach isn't therapy and it isn't advice. It's a process of learning to understand your own emotional landscape, why you feel what you feel, what those feelings are protecting, and how to stop being run by them.
Most clients come in thinking the problem is their relationship. What they find is that the real work is with themselves. Not in a blame-yourself way. In a this-is-actually-where-your-power-is way.
I won't tell you what to do with your relationship. What I will do is help you build an honest relationship with yourself, so you can trust your own choices.
